De Throne(d)

A couple of weeks ago I was driving down the road and saw red balloons out in front of someone’s house as if they were having a party.

Wait—there were no festivities. They were recycling a toilet. I think.

Instantly my brain turned to “caption this photo”and “classified ad” mode.

With a Boston accent: There’s a party at my house and everyone’s invited.

I should stop there.

Cheap extra seating for your Thanksgiving guests.

Free soda pop cooler for your back deck.

Convenient yet unorthodox entryway storage for hats and scarves.

Who needs a regular closet when you have a water closet?

Stylish sculptural art for the discriminating landscaper that no one else on the block has.

Loo, loo, skip town with my loo.

Hey, I didn’t say they were great ideas. But the sight of a shiny, clean used toilet sitting on the side of a busy road with eye-catching balloons next to it was pretty funny.

Please understand that I used to sell plumbing fixtures for a living, so finding creative uses or new ways to recycle them is mildly interesting to me. There are probably 35,250,347 harvest gold and avocado green toilets clogging landfills all over America right now, not to mention 575,828 puffy dusty rose vinyl seats.

There are toilet recycling programs out there; old toilets can be crushed and used in roadway construction projects. Cascade Water Alliance, for example, lists a few places near Seattle that take them.

This reminded me of some of the zanier uses for water closets that I’ve seen on the internet lately.

The Fish ‘n Flush Toilet Tank Aquarium. You’d never be able to get your cat to move off of the toilet seat lid. And if I were a fish, I’d wonder why my caretakers always turn their backs to me.

Looking like a bizarre cross between Stonehenge and Easter Island, one inventive person found a use for eight former bathroom seats.

There are other examples of toilet art on the internet, but this one has to be among the most creative. Artist Amanda James covered one in… candy.

Some people find bathroom humor unacceptable, and often rightfully so, but toilets in and of themselves aren’t offensive. They’re part of our everyday lives, like paper towels and TVs. A TV, though, is arguably filthier than a toilet anyway.

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My hobby of not attending meetings about recycling saves more energy than your hobby of recycling. -John McCarthy

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