Do you have a can of Quaker Oats in your house? Good. Because now you know what the guy one of my ancestors came to America with looked like. Quaker Oats says their cylindrical packaging doesn’t portray William Penn, the founder of Pennsylvania, but there’s a strong resemblance.
This ancestor came here from England on William Penn’s last transatlantic voyage. He may be the same man in English records who was imprisoned for his religious beliefs in the 1670s. Along with the Lutherans, Mennonites, and other peoples and creeds in my family tree, he passed down a heritage of faith that I am proud of.
I do, however, reject the legalism that attached itself to some of that faith along the way. It is largely because of legalism—excessive conformity to religious rules and regulations—that I understand why people don’t want anything to do with God.
Now I’m no Puritan or great example of my faith. I am acutely aware of things in my life that need to be brought up to God’s standards. I won’t pretend to sit here and think I’m better than anyone else. I might need more fixing up than a lot of people reading this.
Like untold numbers of other people, I’ve been through events in my life that have given me serious reason to think God has forgotten about me or doesn’t care. At times I’ve felt as if God is a steely-eyed kung fu master who watches me get beat up over and over to toughen me up. But I know He’s always there, and He only allows what He can use.
Among those things that have made me question my faith are the conditions of various churches I had to attend as a kid. We were serial church-ists, hopping from one to another after attending for months to years. Some of these churches didn’t even have a church. They met in a community hall, a high school gym, a funeral home, a movie theater. The last two venues were dark and depressing. I have the movie posters for “Cocktail” and “The Serpent and the Rainbow” permanently etched in my mind after seeing them umpteen Sundays in a row.
None of those churches were all bad. I am grateful for certain people in those churches and have some good memories. But I also saw infighting, competitions, and weird practices that weren’t Biblical. I witnessed people find God and then be cranked through the Play-doh Fun Factory of legalism to produce a church’s preconceived notion of “Christian”. Some of those people burnt out quickly because man’s expectations on top of God’s were overwhelming.
If anyone is afraid to go to church because they think everyone in there will look like Agent Smith from The Matrix, I get it. If you are turned off to God by fluffy Technicolor hair and ministers with Mercedes who strong arm their parishioners into donating to their new helicopter pad, that’s understandable. If you avoid church because you’re concerned about chanting people removing your brain with salad tongs, well, that might be pushing it.
I understand why people have problems with church. It’s disconcerting when you get there and find at least two cars that are taking up two parking spaces each. You find yourself wondering if the same person who does this every Sunday is also the one making a show of their faith inside the building. It’s been said that going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Churches have become big business and everyone wants their brand to be at the pinnacle of the religious marketplace—Lutheran, Baptist, Episcopal, and so on. Some churches make Christianity an exclusive club in which membership can only be maintained by doing things their particular way. It becomes a mystery religion, the exact opposite of what it’s intended to be.
Churches can also be hunting grounds for predators who pass themselves off as people of God but destroy lives. Legalism has made it possible for both the clergy and regular churchgoers to function incognito and take advantage of people. Some churches have rules that create a climate of sexual frustration and secrecy. Others refuse to kick evil people out of their churches because they believe they’re supposed to tolerate anything or think that with time, those people will truly find God.
In my personal experience, I’ve found that there are both sheep and wolves at church. I’ve run across the same stereotypes, snottiness, and cliques that exist in the rest of the world. As I mentioned before, I’ve also seen cult-like churches that have very odd practices designed to control people, like discouraging women from looking good for their men. While there’s something to be said for modesty, living like it’s a hundred years ago isn’t a great soul-winning tool.
While the King James version of the Bible is the book that many people were raised on and has a Shakespearean beauty, it’s not how people speak now. It’s not wrong to use the King James, but some churches might be alienating people by using that as their primary text. The New International Version (NIV) and The Message (despite its curious overuse of the word “festoon”) are some of the friendlier versions of the Manufacturer’s Handbook.
Many of the characteristics that make church weird and unattractive make individuals’ direct access to God difficult. Such access is at the heart of Christianity. Individual Christians, genuine or pretenders, can be guilty of the same. I have noticed several major types of Christians who drive people away from the faith even if they don’t mean to.
First of all, there are the deliberate martyrs. This group includes the people who consciously alienate themselves from the rest of the world by being obnoxious. They are holier than thou and may be angry and withdrawn. There is hardly anything inviting or compassionate about them. While God does use truth-loving people called prophets to confront problems, even prophets can maintain some degree of respect. These people aren’t prophets, just humans who think aggressiveness will earn them brownie points with God.
There’s also the passive Christians. I’m not sure where this cookie cutter image came from, but it’s stifling a lot of people’s authenticity and strength. Why would outsiders want to be part of a community that seems wimpy and unauthentic? There seems to be a widespread misconception that being a Christian means you give up your boundaries and let other people take advantage of you. Another common practice is adopting an air of superficiality and telling everyone that everything’s “just fine! Praise the Lord!” when asked. These people may have forgotten that they have a duty to truth, honesty, and justice.
This group includes the men author John Eldredge calls “Really Nice Guys”. Eldredge says that women need Lovers and Fighters, not Really Nice Guys. A common image of a “Christian” man is someone lacking many traits of his Creator. They are hesitant, cowed, avoid risks, and hide their individuality. They may think that all Christian guys have to drape Easter-egg colored sweaters across their shoulders and listen to smooth jazz (no offense to those who do). This also seems to happen to Christian women. They conform to some sort of ideal image not unlike a ‘50s housewife, ever gracious, ever smiling, even when they desperately need personal support.
The next group, the flat-out legalistic Christians, bear responsibility for driving a lot of people away from the truth. I’ve often wondered if obnoxious legalism runs more people off than it thinks it saves. Legalism is when man-made rules, regulations, and rituals are added to what is supposed to be a simple relationship with God. It’s like taking a simple peanut butter and jam sandwich, adding pickles, lettuce, horseradish, onions, and Spam, and then cramming it down someone’s throat with a funnel and a flyswatter.
I’ve noticed that some of the most legalistic people are the most gossipy, and they have no respect for other people’s boundaries. This is because EVERYTHING is their business. EVERYTHING is theirs to judge. Nothing is left between an individual and God. The Bible is their weapon even when their rules lack a scriptural basis. Instead of hating the sin and respecting the sinner, they ostracize everybody.
There are also the Pharisees, who have some overlap with the deliberate martyrs and legalists. They maintain an appearance of reverence and holiness while their insides are cluttered and filthy. They make a big show of their beliefs and use Christianity to achieve selfish goals of recognition, respect, and prosperity. Pharisees believe they are superior to others and will loudly denounce those “below” them despite their own private alter-egos. These are the people Jesus called white-washed tombs—their goodness is external only.
The last group that comes to mind are somewhat like the Pharisees and kind of like the passive Christians. I’ll call them the “Bible conveniencists”. They may be good people, but they don’t give God much credit on a day to day basis. He is not important to them until He’s convenient. When these types are called on their behavior, they are quick to grab the Bible and justify their actions. They trumpet God as a God of tolerance and forgiveness who overlooks just about everything. They can bend any scripture to excuse aberrant behavior.
All of this leads me to the reason that I believe explains why millions of people don’t want anything to do with God—God has been misrepresented to them.
Baptist minister Adrian Rogers said that if Satan can distort your idea of God, then beyond the shadow of any doubt, he has you in everything else. Consider the variety of ways that both man and the dark side can use to screw up your view of God, including the ones already mentioned.
Each of us has experienced the supposed God of Christianity in different ways, whether through our own experiences with church or through the behavior of people who claim to believe in Him. I believe that three of the four major types of God that are portrayed to people are wrong. You’ll see that these types closely mirror the groups of people and churches I just mentioned.
Let’s start with God the Sadistic CIA Chief. Through a strict upbringing or the well-intentioned but overzealous sharing of someone you know, you see God as a terrifying authority figure. You get the feeling that He’s spying on you all the time just so He can see you trip up and strike you with lightning when you do. This is the God who is so intent on punishing you that you figure you might as well party all you can in this life before you’re damned in the next. This God gives you no mercy and no hope. You feel like there’s just no way you could fit into His rigid, inflexible plans. He is all truth, no grace.
Then there’s God the Cool Uncle Who Overlooks Things Your Parents Might Not. He is the unwaveringly tolerant God, the God who just wants you to kick back and have fun. He understands that you’re human and He’ll forgive anything you throw His way. His rules are merely suggested guidelines that can be adapted to various sets of circumstances. This God issues an unlimited get out of jail free card to be taken advantage of at every opportunity. The Christians who believe in this God don’t seem to think there’s anything they can ever do to lose their salvation. He is all grace, no truth.
C.S. Lewis described this God well: “What would really satisfy us would be a God who said of anything we happened to like doing, ‘What does it matter so long as they are contented?’ We want, in fact, not so much a Father in Heaven as a grandfather in heaven– a senile benevolence who, as they say, ‘liked to see young people enjoying themselves’, and whose plan for the universe was simply that it might be truly said at the end of each day, ‘a good time was had by all’.”
Enter the third type of God. Somewhere in the course of human history the God Who Is Impressed by Words and Mindless Repetition moved in. This is the God who allows us to go about our daily lives, but once in awhile, we need to stop by and recite unoriginal sentiments to appease Him. This is the God who lets our rituals and habits save us. He is satisfied with superficial gestures and a pack mentality.
But then there’s the God Who Is Who He Says He Is. God is love. He is the perfect balance of truth and grace. He is not bound by time or space and can do anything. He spoke the universe into being and is just as capable of doing mind-blowing miracles today as he was in the Old Testament. He’s a jealous, passionate God who fights for his children and doesn’t want any of them to be separated from Him. He says vengeance is His and He hates evil. While He offers forgiveness freely, He will also hold everyone accountable for their actions. He is as loving and compassionate as He is justice-oriented, and cares about each of us individually.
God Who Is Who He Says He Is isn’t about religion. He’s about relationship. Religion is a conglomeration of man-made rules, regulations, and rituals that is used to control people and advance personal and political agendas. Religion is also man trying to reach God, or be God. Millions if not billions of lives have been lost throughout history because of religion. As one prominent Foursquare minister has put it, “Religion conforms. Jesus transforms.”
In Christianity, God is reaching down to us, right where we are. He wants to be a father and a friend. He came to earth in human form to offer us a chance for a better life and an existence that continues beyond what we know now. This function of God, God the Son, has been ridiculously misrepresented as well. Some people who are okay with God the Father and His angels won’t go near God the Son. It’s just too out-there, too radical. They don’t “get” Him.
Some modern portrayals of Jesus, no matter how well-intentioned, help explain this. Sometimes Jesus is portrayed as an unsmiling mystic with a fixed, otherworldly gaze. I wouldn’t want to run into that Jesus in a dark alley any more than I’d want to run into the creepy Burger King. I’ve also seen Jesus portrayed as an everybody’s buddy, pushover surfer dude type. I wouldn’t be surprised if that genre of Jesus told me not just to turn the other cheek, but to lay down and allow my head to be stomped on. There’s also depictions of Jesus that blast His divinity or make Him into just another philosopher.
So who is Jesus? Some cultures and sects have hijacked His image, ignoring the fact that he was physically manifested as a first century A.D. Jew (so unlikely to look very Nordic). The Gospels tell us that He’s a people person. He loves kids. He had a job—he was a carpenter. He was a son and a brother, and he had a diverse group of friends. He’s fun to hang out with. He is both fully human and fully divine, and He wants us to ask Him in His name for our needs to be met and our desires fulfilled. He was the sacrifice that made it possible for everyone who accepts Him to have a hope beyond the here and now.
I love to quote C.S. Lewis because the man had an amazing clarity of thought. He said, “A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic– on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg– or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.”
So if God is who He says He is, then why do so many people and churches portray Him as someone He’s not? Some of them may not mean to, but the ones who do this deliberately can achieve power and control. They strip people of their individuality to create obedient masses that support their causes. They also use their version of God to justify their own behavior.
Denying the true character of God in turn denies each person’s individuality. Father Henry Fehren said, “God does not make clones. Each person is different, a tribute to God’s creativity. If we are to love our neighbors as ourselves, we must accept people as they are and not demand that they conform to our own image.” Obviously God has a set of rules designed for our peak performance, but He made us each separately and differently. Good old C.S.L. reminds us, “Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him.”
Everyone has their own way of expressing their faith. Not everyone wants to raise their hands in church or publicly give to an offering basket. Some people are comfortable sharing their faith with anyone and others would rather let their actions speak than their words. We also serve God in different ways. As the apostle Paul said, the church is a body, and that means there’s hands, feet, arms, a heart, a brain, and many other parts. This means that while some people engage in acts of service, others are supposed to be advocating, teaching, and administrating.
It is unfortunate that so many people want nothing to do with God because they see him as a megalomaniac, taskmaster, weirdo, spaced out hippie, or oblivious old guy kicked back in a Barcalounger sipping a yerba maté. They may have reached that conclusion on their own, but they also might have developed it based on the unnecessary junk that someone lacquered their Christianity with. We drive people away from the truth and from God’s plan for them when we add our own agendas to His words.
C.S. Lewis, one more time: One mustn’t make the Christian life into a punctilious system of law… Nothing gives one a more spuriously good conscience than keeping rules, even if there has been a total absence of all real charity and faith.
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Seriously, what do you think?