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Posts Tagged ‘cooking’

Tilapiphobia

Posted in Diet & Health, Nature, tagged , , , , on May 5, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Tilapia

February 2010. I’m hungry. It’s lunchtime. Fish sounds good. I make fish.

Here is the email I sent to a couple of friends soon after this fish incident. The name of the grocery store has been omitted.

I just ate the worst tasting fish I have ever had in my life. Every burp brings back the traumatic memory of choking down this bargain tilapia, and I already have gas from it. Last month I bought a giant bag of Chinese imported tilapia at _____ with the misleading moniker  “Great American Seafood”. The pieces were individually wrapped. (more…)

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Kitchen Dancing

Posted in Humor, Music, Pop Culture, tagged , , , , on April 7, 2011| 4 Comments »

HEEEREE WE ARE!
BORN TO BE CHEFS
WE MAKE SAUCES OF THE UNIVERSE
(duh dun, dun dun, dun dun)

Here WE belong
Fighting for the rice milk–
We have to make prosciutto for you all!

In the privacy of my own car and kitchen, I am a rock star. Aren’t you?

This culinary take on Queen’s Princes of the Universe is the perfect accompaniment for a hearty chicken pot pie with a bacon infusion. Channeling rock and roll’s greatest front man while slicing carrots and dicing garlic is a therapeutic, refreshing experience. Just don’t stab anyone with your makeshift bottomless microphone stand. (more…)

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