Posts Tagged ‘boundaries’


Young ladies (including those in my life), listen up. It’s time for some straight talk about guys who consider texting a primary form of communication or an appropriate way to get to know you.

As evidenced in previous blog posts on grammar and communication skills, I feel that texting is the devolution of the English language. Yes, I text; it can be a quick way to check in with a loved one or tell a friend about something funny when they can’t talk on the phone. But I decided a while back that I am done trying to have lengthy conversations by text because they are a convenient excuse not to actually TALK to someone. (more…)

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Batten down the hatches, folks, because my fuse is lit and crackling like a giant sparkler. After an exchange with a relationship expert who feels much the same way, I am compelled to speak out about the slavery many people live in because of improper boundaries with their exes. Let’s dive right in.

You and your boyfriend broke up. You’ve been through a divorce. You dumped the two-faced sociopath who was having unprotected sex with at least three different men yet kept up appearances by acting monogamous with you. (more…)

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What’s a real man?

Is he a “yes, dear” type who begrudgingly acts out the never-ending honey-do list? (Honey-do lists disgust me, by the way.)

Is he the guy who continually bottles up his feelings to avoid conflict?

Does he allow himself to be used to be viewed as a “nice” guy, stay quiet instead of voicing his opinion, kowtow to his partner’s unreasonable demands, or feel that he has to yell to get his point across because “she’s not listening?” (more…)

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“Real” housewives.

Bad girls.


Talk shows.

Tabloid-like court shows.

These are the new soap operas, the modern purveyors of chaos in American society. We have become captivated by hateful, violent, self-indulgent women without boundaries whose every outfit is worth more than the money it would take to feed several small Indian villages for a day. Their earrings are so extravagant that they appear to be chandeliers ripped from the ceiling of a hotel ballroom, and they have more shoes than Imelda Marcos. They overdo “glamour” to the point that it inhibits their natural assets. (more…)

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A few months ago, this blog featured an award-winning documentary film, Live to Forgive. It details Dean Smith’s quest to forgive the man who murdered his mother when he was 12. Not only did Dean forgive his mom’s killer, he reached out to him in person to show that God loves him too.

https://wildninja.wordpress.com/2011/07/09/live-to-forgive/ (more…)

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Could you forgive and love the man who murdered your mom?

This is the question posed to visitors upon arrival at http://livetoforgivemovie.com/, the official site of the new Live to Forgive movie.

Dean Smith was 12 when his mother was murdered by his stepfather in Enumclaw, Washington. Haunted by this sudden and violent loss, Dean’s life became a self-medicated pit of despair until he realized that he would only be free when he forgave the man who took his mother from him. (more…)

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Tonight I was standing in line at the seafood counter of a bustling grocery store. When the employee behind the counter asked, “who’s next?” a young couple practically jumped up and down and said, “us!” To my dismay, a snappily dressed middle aged woman told the employee, who was standing closer to her, “mine’s really quick.”

There was a collective jaw drop among us customers as we turned to stare at the woman, who seemed unfazed at the attention. The female half of the young couple, who was obviously very pregnant, exclaimed “I don’t believe this!” as her face turned red. (more…)

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On Sunday I went swimming with family at a local lake. I hadn’t been swimming at that particular spot before, and found that the milfoil was horrible. The kids covered themselves in it and I took pictures of them rising from the shallow water like lake monsters.

When we got home, we smelled so bad that we all had to rinse off and hose down my dog. Bits of those invasive aquatic plants stuck to us and our flip-flops like glue. I had to turn the hand shower to the high pressure setting to clean one pair of sandals, and even then it took five minutes.

While sitting at work Monday, I had an epiphany. I’d been feeling horrible since I’d shared personal information with someone. Every time I talk to that person, I feel violated. Something about these conversations clings to me like freshwater milfoil, and I try to scrub it off, to escape the stink, to feel clean again. (more…)

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Grima Wormtongue

In J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy there is a character called Grima Wormtongue. Wormtongue is an advisor to the king of Rohan who is constantly pumping the king full of verbal toxins, keeping the king weak and looking aged beyond his years. When Wormtongue is finally exposed for the controlling, venomous leech he is, the king is released from a state of zombie-like submission. He is restored to his natural state and stands boldly as the fearless warrior he is meant to be.

While pondering the causes of relationship dysfunction recently, I was struck by the disturbing realization that many men who treat their partners poorly have inappropriate relationships with their mothers. (more…)

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